Saturday, June 17, 2006

Viva Story

viva story part 1

This is not the sequel of "wasim khan ki kahani but kalkhand, ghatnayen evam patra wohi hai"

this is the story of four innocent guys who were stuck in this cruel education system .this is just a ordinary story with less ordinary mortals but extraordinary circumstances (as john abraham said "koi aadmi mahan nahi hota paristhitiyan aadmi ko mahan banati hai"). This story is about how innocent and simple students are tortured by not so innocents. So just grab your tissue box, have some popcorns and start reading J

When I came to my dream college I was very excited about all this engg thing (as I am a firm believer of the philosophy that Engineers are born not made. And I think I was one of that born engineer you can verify that with all those wall-clocks, radios, tv sets which are lying there in my backyard (I still believe they had manufacturing defects). ) I met my four soul mates who were there with me for the next three years in all thick and thin.jiske liye main unka tahedil se shukria ada karna chahta hoon . Normally you have four students in a batch (you need four wise guys to pass 1 hour). So the alphabetical system prevalent in SGSITS fixed my destiny with these three guys Prabhat Samadhiya, Prasad Tillu Pravar Mishra Apart from starting P we have something else in common, we all are so called experts in all those topic which you never heard of (thts the essential part). We are all experts of explaining thoughts of other people. And unfortunately our previous batch was filled with some not so INNOVATIVE students. (Neeraj chaplot, Neeraj Singh ,Nistha Tripathi ,Piyush Patidar ). I always felt there was a strange impression on the externals face after our viva and I could never make out whether it was because of our batch or the one before us. Prabhat URF Samy this man was just a little too much for everything and he was just mad in love for his bed, starlit ki alloo petise, his room partner, James bond and
everything that is not related to engg books and have a tag attached to it definitely male. In the viva room which I ll refer as the d-room (d is not for d company its short for destiny) he was just the same. His approach to the questions was just like virendar sahwag. I think he already decides the number of times he ll say pass (or Sorry Sir in this case). He always plays premeditated shots and for sure he ll get a six if first five delivery are not able to get his wicket. He was the opener of our team, his file was first checked by the external and he is the one who answers the first question. And he was responsible to set the mood for next one hour. Prasad URF Tilloo This good natured, well mannered boy with soft voice was the best buddy you can find after facing the assault in the D-Room but .. but .. In the viva room its little different. Everything goes as smooth as the commentary from Sidhdhu until Tillu start up where samy(prabhat) has left, he speeks with so much expertise and fluency that nobody knows when he starts speaking about efficient use of data structure in electrical circuits. Prashant (YEP thts me ..): Normally I dont like to speak very much and I am those thinking type person . But I was also famous as the biggest JHILAU person in my hostel days. But my bakras were selected and ones who come after me in the jhilau list. Any ways coming to the point as I said I was never game for this bookish knowledge and I believe in innovation, but unfortunately my innovative thinking wakes up in the D-Room only. And I have more than 5 answers for every single question asked, the only problem was I was never sure which one will bring a smile and cutoff marks from the external. Pravar Mishra URF (bahut sare naam the yaar iske): This dude from Bhopal is completely transformed in viva days, fully clad in funde wali dress, hairs neatly combed, a scared look at the face and voice barely audible. You can find him in the empty lab mugging up the probable questions. But in the D-Room these mugged answers were of no use and he was also relying on his BAKAR skills. The First Encounter: We have a subject called electrical network in 3rd sem In the first lecture from Mr. Bhattacharya I was convinced I am not going to buy the B L threza and going to apply my innovation wherever and whenever required, Viva ka time aa gaya Hamare pahle wale batches ki halat dekh kar ham samajh gaye the ki aaj to dimag lagana padega aise kaam nahi chalega … Prasad and Pravar were sweating, Prabhat was looking at some birds ( when I say birds I mean it ). And I was just looking at all those who were coming out and trying to figure out what they are thinking. Hamari bari bhi aa gayee. Ham badi sarafat ke saath room me enter huye after everbody settled, Some initial questions were fired to test whether hame galti se computer to nahi mil gayee and after the ensured ki ham CS ke liye hi bane the The RAMBAN was fired The Question was tumhare ghar ke plug me teen tar hote hai wo kaun kaun se hai.. All four of us jumped to grab the lollypop. Sir earth ka taar .. Now the real question came up Shabash aur ye earth ka taar kahan se aata hai … Prabhat was first one in the firing line Sir ye jo earth ka taar hai ye meter se aata hai Achcha meter se aata hai shabash … and those mysterious eyes turned to tillu... Sir this wire is responsible for avoiding electrical shock, in America this is of square shape so if we want to use that in India we have to use a ...... "YE KAHAN SE AATA HAI ...." Prasad: sir ye poll se aata hai .... Achcha poll se aata hai .... next Next was me Sir ye earth ka wire to transformer se aata hai .kyonki I think …. Bas Next … (Mauka hi nahi diya explanation dene ka .. meri galti nahi thi. I can prove ki ye taar transformer se hi aata hai ..) Pravar (very scared at this point atleast from the look ) Sir ye powerhouse se aata hai ….. We also had a surprise entry for this viva Rahul Gupta Ji Rahul : sir ye wire to power generation point se aata hai … Now I can sense that we have given extraordinary answeres and we are all going to flunk or will go to next semester .. After a long pause and several sarcastic smiles another question was fired Can you right a C program to drive electric circuit of course why not came the prompt reply .. and we started showing our programming skills prabhat took one page Prasad two Me three And Pravar I am not sure how many pages Gupta ji ne aadha program likha than he asked sir kaun se electric circuit ka program likhna hai matlab jon jo circuit hai isme kya kya laga hoga ….. Poor fellow nahi janta tha yahin to creativity ka test tha .. Khair ham sab pass ho gaye ITI SRI ELECTRIC KATHA SAMAPT Bolo VERMA JI KI ... ................... JAI But frankly i am still not sure which one they liked the most do tell me your favorite answer….........

Kahani wasim khan ki


WARNING ---------- +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ye kahani kewal un logon ke liye hai jinka kabhi THE GREAT KHAN se samna hua hai, kyonki main janta hoon kewal wo log hi is dard ko samjhte hai +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yaaron, Ye baat aaj se theek 1 saal aur 13 din purani hai.wo 10 may ki raat …. Wo ek andheri raat kali raat thi aur itni darawani ki jise ham chaaron kabhi nahi bhool sakte. Chapsi ke kahne par main aaj tak chup raha par ab 1 saal ki limit khatam ho gayee hai aur main ye kahani suna raha hoon INTERESTED READ ON………… THE FIRST ENCOUNTER Sara final year hamare project batch ko janta hoga jo nahi jantahai uske liye hamara ek chhota sa project batch tha 4 members neeraj chaplot, Prabhat Samadhiya , Ranjeet Dubey aur main Prashant Mishra jab pahli baar project allocate ho raha tha Tab hamme bada josh tha ki fundu project banayenge us par mehnat karenge wagerah wagerah … Ye kahani batati hai ki jindagi me kaise U turns aa sakte hai .. To CHACHU ne hame 7th sem me me bulaya apne us “jaduyi kebin” me project allocate karne me , hamne bahut sare topic dhoondhe aur pahunch gaye After initial introduction which took some 1 hr … CHACHU – to kya banaoge tum log koi idea liya . Chapsi – haan sir ham ek search engine banana ki soch rahe hai aur uske liye ………… Chachu – tum log pata nahi kis duniya me ji rahe ho kahan se ye idea le aate ho are aajkla to koi school me bhi search engine nahi banata Kya hoga tumhara mujhe samajh me nahi aata … PRASHANT – to sir aap hi bataiye kya banaye ..(BAS YAHIN GALTI KAR GAYA YE HONHAAR LADKA…) Chachu - Ab kya banaoge tum log kis field me interest hai tumhara . Ranjeet –kuchh bhi chalega sir.. Chachu - theek hai ek kaam karo tum log tum log “DESIGN AND IMPLEMENTATION OF INTELIGENT ROUTERS” banaoge Prashant – sir u r gr8 kya topic khoja hai ( man me aisa hi bola tha maine ……. I was really impressed) After 3 4 hrs of jhilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai !!!!!!! Chachu - Chalo jao ab jao tum log …jao shabash hana bahut shabash !!!! Happy Days Agale 6 mahine bade maje me guzare hamare group ke is beech me kabhi kabhi realistic chapsi bolta tha ki yaar ye banana possible nahi hai To main hamesha yahi kahta tha use yaar chachu par bharosa rakh …..chachu sab theek karenge ….. (Yahi bharosa aakhiri me hamari jaan ka dushman ban gaya chachu ne hame kahin ka nahi chhoda….) Hamne project ke bare me fikar karma hi band kar diya thoda bahut jo kaam tha documentation design etc etc.. Uske liye hamare paas bahut talent tha . Hamne chachu ko bahut funde pilaye bahut maje liye chachu ke bahut fayda uthaya unki sharafat ka (AISA HAM SOCHTE THE……) To akhir kar hamara 1st submission maje me nipat gaya and the best thing was CHACHU sabse jyada khush najar aa rahe the … CHACHU THE GREAT Chachu sach me great the (AISA MAIN SOCHTA aur baad me mujhe pata chal aki main sahi sochta tha ) Sem break ke baad jab ham laute to hamne kaha chachu ko dekh aaye tabiyat theek thaak hai ki nahi Chachu --tumme se gate kaun de raha hai ?? sabhi ne haath utha diya (HAAN MAINE BHI……..) Chachu -- ek kaam karo ab tum log gate ke baad aana dil laga kar padhai karma haan ab jao SHABASH HAAN BAHUT SHABASH ……. AISA BHI HOTA HAI part 2Kahte hai is duniya me har sher ke liye sawa sher hota hai par chachu ne to taraju hi tod diya Ab chachu ka time aa gaya tha kahani ka interwal ho gaya tha aur hero ski smooth life Me twisters aane shuru ho gaye the Gate ke baad jab ham chachu ke pass gaye to chachu ka rang hi badla hua tha ********(neeraj hamesha baat shuru karta tah chachu se ranjeet 2re no par aur man extreme conditions me bolta tha aur samy ko hamne DAMAGE CONTROL ka job diya hua tha ) Chapsi – sir kaise hai aap Great khan – are meri chhodo e batao tum log kahan the abhi tak Chapsi – sir aap hi ne to bola tha ki gate ke baad anaa Great khan – are tum logon ne majak bana kar rakha hai kya bana rahe ho tum log .. Ranjeet – sir designand implementation of intelligent routers Great khan – to ab tum log router design karoge are tumhe netwok protocol to aatenahi hai chale hai hai router design karne Main aaj hi dagdi ko bolta hoon sir inhe main nahi samhal sakta aap inhe apne under le lijiye Chapsi – par sir aap hi ne to bola tha ye topic Samy- sir Hamne pichhle 6 mahine isi par mehnat ki hai …kafi kaam kiya hai hamne is par .. Great khan – (bhadak gaye ..)are jab maine bola tha to mujhe yaad nahi hota AM I A FOOL Jao yahan se Then after lot of such discussion Great khan changed our topic And again .. And again … Aur phir se… The topics were 1 . DESIGN AND IMPLEMENTATION OF INTELIGENT ROUTERS 2 . DESIGN AND SIMULATION OF NETWORK PROTOCOLS 3. IMPLEMENTATION OF CONCURRENT SYSTEMS 4 . DESIGN OF AN OPERATING SYSTEM (INSPIRED BY MINIX) 5 IMPLEMENTATION OF PARALLEL PROCESSING 6 . HYBRID IMPLEMENTATION OF CONCURRENT PROGRAMMING AND OPERATING SYSTEM Aur filnaly ye sab karne ke baad hamne Great khan se bagawat kari aur ye sare topics par kaam karne ke baad 3 april exam ke kuchh din pahle final viva dene ke liye ek simple topic choose kiya ********** that was the most difficult part iske liye ham kitni baar Great khan ke ghar gaye kitne ghante us band darwaje aurBadbudar staircase me wait kiya ( I have a doubt ki chachu ne paida hone ke baad kabhi nahaya hoga ) Ye kewal ham 4 hi jante the To finaly we got DESIGN AND SIMULATION OF NETWORK PROTCOLS as our final year project just 3 days before exams Chapsi pareshan ab project kaise banayenge I said fikar mat kar internet hai na .. So we got some theeek thaak project from net that was sufficient to clear the vivas BARSAAT KI WO RAAT part 1 Project ko apna banana ek difficult kaam tha par chapsi ne ye kar dikhaya And we have uploaded our final year project in the robotics lab … ready for demonstration.. In viva literally hamne fod diya samy aur maine aise aise funde diye ki ranjeet aur chapsi ke bina bole hi external impress ho gaya .. Casually he asked demo taiyaar hai Chapsi said haan External – chalo main aata hoon … Ham ne niche ja kar final run kiya application ko and …… HAMARE DATA PACKETS HAWA ME TRAVEL kar rahe the ( I realized ki mere system se ham koi purani copy utha laye hai) Main bahar gaya ki wapas se working copy lekar aata hoon .. but it was raining outside and also light chali gayee thi Yani no computer … …… Chapsi aur ranjeet started coding shuru kar di aur packets ko wapis wires me lane ki koshish shuru kar di .. External niche aaya aur Richa & company ka project demo lene laga … We were next and we were still coding .. Achanak light aati hai main aur samy wapis hostel ki taraf bhage we had 5 min .. I got the working copy and came back by that time chapsi and ranjeet had done their job now we had 2 working copies External came examined our project .. Ye code tumne likha hai Samy - yes sir Prashant – yes sir we have written this code .. Ext –chalo theek hai apne apne no batao .. and yaaaaaaaaaHOOOOOOO we completed our BE (AISA maine socha tha ) BARSAAT KI WO RAAT part 2 When External was going we had a photo session with him everyone was happy, External, main, samy, ranjeet, chapsi aur sare log par GREAT KHAN ?????? When everybody left chachu locked the department and we were going downstairs with him (to show our courtesy that we respect him ..) Achanak chachu ruke aur wapis palat jane lage ….hamne socha koi kaam hoga Tabhi chachu ne piche se pukara … Department wapis khola aur ham wapis chachu ke us JADUYI KAMRE me the Chahcu – (dono haath sir par rakhe huye )ab batao main kya karoon tumhara ??? Chapsi – kya hua sir ??? Chachu – mujhe tum logon se ye ummeed nahi thi !!!!!1 Ranjeet – batayenge sir akhir hua kya hai ????????? Chachu – ARE TUM SARE DETAIN GAYE HO DEGREE CHALI GAYEE HAI TUMHARI . EXTERNAL NE LETTER LIKHA HAI TUMHARE NAAM KI IN LOGON NE YE CODE INTERNET SE CHURAYA HAI . ARE WO TO SIGHT BHI LIKH KAR GAYA HAI . I looked at neeraj he was faint , Ranjeet was sweating , and SAMY blank faced, no emotions at all ( that was a rare thing ) And I was thinking no it can not be real I am dreaming …. It will pass in a moment … Suddenly their was a knock at the door ……… Nobody responded .. I woke up from my sleep and to my fears….. I was not dreaming .. BABULAL# was their ***(sorry BULBUL if You are reading this ) Prashant – haan BULBUL kya hua ?? BABULAL – POORI class “top and town” me hai ek get together hai tum log bhi jaldi chalo … Prashant – chalo tum log ham aate hai abhi !!!! BABULAL – theek hai !! bye Prashant – bye !!!!!!!!! Main wapis andar gaya Chachu – tum logon ne muijhe bina bataye aisi harkat ki kaise Everyone was sweating except chachu …. Chachu – mujhe confidence me le lete to phir bhi main kuchh kar sakta tha . . ab to koi ratsa nahi hai tumhari degree gayee ab to tuumhe bhagwaan bhi nahi bacha sakta chalo ab jao yahan khade mat raho …. We left and waited for chachu downstairs noone is speeking….. Chachu niche aaye Prashant – sir to ab kya hoga .. Chachu – hoga kya external ek letter likh kar gaya hai tumhari complain ka aaj Friday hai kal college band hai Monday ko main wo letter director ko de doonga fir wo jane aur tum jano Ranjeet – hamara carrier barbaad ho jayega sir Chachu – ye tumhe pahle sochna tha .. Samy – par sir hamne aap ko bahut sara kaam kar ke diya hai bahut sare assign ment kiye hai Chachu – dekho ab tumhe main to kya external khud nahi bacha sakta .. usne mere samne director ko phone kiy ais bare me .. TUM LOG to ab detain ho karrahoge!!!!!!!!!!!!!BARSAAT KI WO RAAT part 3 Chapsi left for his home he was walking like zombies .. Samy left to his BED .. Me and ranjeet were sitting on the playground … It was raining heavily…….. Nobody is speeking .. there was silence Ranjeet - KHAJRANA chale………… Prashant – haan chal ………. It was raining heavily…….. We took ranjeets friends bike and went to khajrana … Sitting there near the banyan tree we were just looking at the blank …….. Trin trin …. Mera phone ; it was from chapsi’s home Haan neeraj Kahan ho tum log Khajrana Mere ghar aa sakte ho kya Theek hai abhi aate hai ….. We left for neeraj home I don’t know what way I have chosen but I just went straight and we reached neeraj’s home crossing fences gutters … on the bike We slipped many times in the mud We reached neeraj’s home Water and mud was dripping from us … At his house neeraj’s father listened to us and consoled us .. Tabhi aunty ne khana laga diya and we ate and left We left for the hostel But in the way bike was chocked tyres were packed with mud so we stopped under a light pole and tried to remove mud it was hard as stone After the struggle of 1 hr the bike was again moving It was raining heavily………… AFTER THE STORM Next day everyone was celebrating the graduation except us sare klog ghar jane ki tayari kar rahe the All are packing their luggage And we are not … I was famous for leaving for home just after the final exam … It was strange for ppl to accept that prashant abhi ghar nahi ja raha hai And we could not tell our friends the reason …………. SORRY BHAIYON …………………… BUT LIFE GOES ON Chapsi brought the news that his father talked to some guys in the CAT and they were ki koi aisi harkat nahi karta hai Ham kabhi kisi ko fail nahi karte (External was from CAT ) Now it was our turn SAMy said chalo marte hai sale ko ……… Ranjeet – abhi pata nahi ki external ne kya kaha hai to isliye chalo abhi chachu se ugalwate hai We went to CHACHUKHANA And after 3 4 sessions of long chats with chachu we sensed ye sab chachu ka kiya dhara hai Then we went once again to chachu ………………. BADLA haan ab kya hua Samy – sir dekho agar hamare saath galat hua to ham aap ko bhi nahi chhodenge .. Chachu – kya matlab hai tumhara !! Ranjeet – matlab saaf hai sir !!hamari degree gayee to aap bhi nahi bachenge !! Chachu – kya bakwas hai ye !! Prashant – sir hamare pass sara record hai ki aapne hame kya kya karne ko kaha hai aur bahut sari cheezen aisi hai ki aapko problem ho jayegi Chapsi – sir ham seedhe director sir ke pass jayenge aur aap apni naukari ke liye royenge !! Chachu – (ghabraye huye se ..) dekho tum logon ke saath galat hua hai to ham external se baat kar sakte hai Ho sakta hai wo kewal 6 mahine ke liye detain kare tumharo degree bach jaye Samy – sochh lo sir budhape me naukari dobara nahi milegee !!!
Chachu – dekho ho sakta hai external kewal assignment dekar chhod de Neeraj – koi assignment nahi karenge ham sir aur ye dekhna ab aapki jimmedari hai !! And we left this happened at 11 o’clock and I left for home at 2 o’clock After that I don’t know what happened exactly Chachu called neeraj’s home Said something and again tried to do the black magic But this time his father thrashed him ………… So this was the story I feel this is my moral responsibility about telling this incident to everyone who was Anytime in the past has contact with chachu So pass it on to any of chachu ke sataye huye ko Thanks for your patience

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Dedicated to "Hello World"

"Hello World" is very special for a S/W personal, it gives you nice feelings of good old days (you have to write a 1000 line of code with all those "industry standards" just to print a simple string).
For me "Hello World" is one of the greatest Thing in the History of S/W. ( remember Kapil PAJI ki seekh "Simplicity me adbhut shakti hai" in those commercials of action shoes after reforms ) .
I am still trying to learn from "Hello World". so keep kidding till i learn more from it :)